Dear Kellie: I’m Caught in the Meeting the Fam/”Wear Whatever You Want” Death Trap. HELP!

Dear Kellie,

I’m stressing out because in two weeks I will meet my boyfriend’s family for the first time. Adding to my worries, we’ll be introduced at a birthday party for his mother!

First of all, what should I wear? My boyfriend never tells me what to expect and throws me off every time. Sometimes he says to dress totally casual or that loves it when I wear heels and tight jeans, and every time I come home from a girls-night-out he begs me to dress up more often…but his comments NEVER relate to actual events and are not helpful at all. On top of the dressing issue, I have no idea what to bring. Of course he says to bring nothing – what do I do? I want to make a good impression.

#

EDITOR’S NOTE: “Wear whatever you want” is a trap – and you know it! Well at least when a woman says it. When a man says “wear whatever you want” its because we’re choosing not to dedicate brain power to that particular issue.

Dear GOOD IMPRESSION,

You will make an excellent impression…if you do your homework. Let’s tackle the fashion question first, which is best resolved with research. Instead of asking your man what you should wear, ask him what he plans to wear – It’s a good start. Your answer will come when you ask the right questions.
Learn about his parents: Age, lifestyle, hobbies and family history, this will help you earn more than style points.

  1. Check out the venue! If the party is at a house, it will be a bit more challenging. Do not cruise their neighborhood like a stalker. Do use Google Earth and Zillow for insight.
  2. Consult his peeps.
  3. Try to get a glimpse of some recent photos from his family parties. Social networks may provide good reference.
  4. Pretend you are a mother and will be meeting your son’s girlfriend for the first time. My guess is that a feminine, classic and respectful balance of demure with a hint of confidence and personality will win her over.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Don’t get caught wearing boat shoes when Chanel is the standard, and vice versa.
As for the gift, a well-written and hand-written card is a must. Depending on your research and the venue you may also like to take a small gift, a beautiful orchid or bouquet, designer candles or a scarf, or maybe a token of your appreciation for the invitation to attend like birthday cupcakes. If you have a homemaker side, bake something or can something…you get the idea.

It’s hard to strike a balance when you want to impress but don’t want to over do it. Just remember that the most important thing to any parent is that their child is happy. So, do your best to look right and bring the right things, but don’t stress because if you cherish your boyfriend and you have an honest and good heart, that is what will make the biggest impression.

Cheers,

Kellie

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