Please leave your questions for Dear Cougar in the comment section below, or feel free to email me at email@example.com
DEAR COUGAR: My son and his wonderful, so I thought, girlfriend just broke up. Actually, she dumped him. Out of the blue, with no warning, she slept with another guy and the next day she told my son it was over.
I am devastated! This is a girl I loved. He hadn’t proposed yet, but my son wanted to marry her. She was going to be my daughter-in-law, the mother of my grandchildren — holidays, birthdays, weekends in the park, the beach, our house, their house, the whole nine yards.
Now I don’t know who has cried more, me or my son. I know it’s none of my business and I have to let these two kids work it out for themselves if there is anything salvageable. But Coug, I’m hurting too.
I’m so tired of people telling me I have “no right” to have an opinion about this, much less express it. I don’t want to call her yet, but maybe someday I’d like to just say I’m sorry this happened. I’m disappointed and would at least like to say goodbye.
I can’t believe I’m never going to see her again. If somehow, by the grace of God, they can put this back together, I will forever keep my mouth shut, but in the meantime, I’m just sitting here … A BROKEN-HEARTED MOM
I hate to say it, but you’re stuck in a twisted fantasy world of a life you never got to live. Perhaps this is your expression of a love like you never had. Perhaps it may truly be your wishes just for your son, either way it is a fantasy world that clearly only you were playing in.
You thought this woman was perfect, yet clearly she is not. More over, she is clearly NOT perfect for your son. She cheated on him and then dumped him! It sounds like either the two of them had problems you never saw, or his now ex was a truly awful person with no soul.
“She was going to be my daughter-in-law, the mother of my grandchildren — holidays, birthdays, weekends in the park, the beach, our house, their house, the whole nine yards.”
SHE SLEPT WITH SOME OTHER DUDE AND DUMPED YOUR SON THE NEXT DAY! You want her as your daughter-in-law? Is that who you want raising your grandchildren? More importantly, is that the kind of love you want for your son?
The focus of this whole issue should be on YOUR son, not his shameful scarlet letter wearing ex. If it were my mother she’d be furious for me and want to go after the girl with a pitch fork (right mom?)!
The fact that you want to call her and apologize someday for this whole thing happening is showing me, and I think the world, a complete lack of perspective…and respect for your own son.
Focus your energy on him. He’s probably deeply wounded if this is as out of the blue as you say it was. More wounded by her betrayal. Help pick him up and get him back on his feet.
I can only hope that his next go round is with a beautiful, wonderful woman that would never betray him in such a disgusting way. That should be your hope too.