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DEAR COUGS: My fiancee, “Heather,” and I are being married next year. Heather is a devout Catholic and is having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that we’re living together. We recently moved out of state as a result of job transfers and — for purely economic reasons — moved in together.
Now that we’re about to be married, Heather is beside herself with what to tell her new parish priest because she’s afraid he will refuse to marry us if she reveals that we’re living together.
Abby, I love Heather very much, and I’m concerned that this is going to cause problems between us. She’s considering not telling the priest that we live together because she feels he wouldn’t understand. I’m inclined to agree. Before we moved, we were living separately. SINNING IN ST. LOUIS
Since half of my family registers themselves as “devout Catholic,” my big question of this whole ordeal is how devout can thou truly be?
To say that you’re living together purely for “economic reasons” is ridiculous. I’m calling you out on it. You’re engaged! You both knew what were you were getting into when you got into it, and could have made other choices. There is always another choice. But you’re in love, and I’m guessing for the most part you enjoy the perks of your domestically happy (yet sinful!) partnership.
My advice, come clean. If either of you made this decision, no matter what the motivation, you must live with the consequences…both good and bad consequences. Sure, the priest may say he won’t marry you…but I doubt that will be the case. Most priestly types these days in the wake of scandals left and right, and changing societal norms, will probably let something like this slip by without too harsh of a finger shaking. If he doesn’t, find another priest. This is about marrying the love of your life, right?
A sin is a sin, is a sin. You lie about this and you’re just adding to your stew of unrighteousness. The whole issue is doing what God would want correct? Frame the conversation about your relationship, your love and your love of God. He’ll direct you on what to do and I’m pretty sure he’s not going to tell you to stage a cover-up.
Best believe I ripped this question from Dear Abby. I’m so much better at this!