Please leave your questions for Dear Cougar in the comment section below, or feel free to email me at email@example.com
DEAR COUGAR: There is a guy at work I’ve been attracted to for as long as I have worked here — six years. I work in the office and he is in the field. We see each other a couple of times a week, if that.
We attended a retirement party for one of the employees recently. He started pursuing me. We ended up getting to know each other and stayed together the rest of the night. We seemed to get along very well.
We took a drive, and he was holding my hand and saying all the things a woman wants to hear. We kissed. When the night came to an end, we sat in his car and hugged and fell asleep together. (He did not push me to do anything more than the kissing, hugging and hand-holding, which I respect.) It seemed like a beautiful dream.
The following week at work he claimed not to remember much of that night, although he seemed to have a smirk on his face when he said it. Cougar, anytime I hook up with someone, I tell myself, “Let’s see what happens,” and I don’t pursue it any further, hoping the guy will. (I’m shy when it comes to men.) Then nothing ever happens. I’ll be 30 soon and I’ve been single almost 10 years.
Should I pursue this further, or leave it alone and see what happens as I’ve always done? — SMITTEN IN MICHIGAN
First off, I love questions like this. To me the answer is written right there in front of the writer. PURSUE IT!
If I’m reading correctly, you are tired of being single and want something to happen in your romantic life. I saw don’t read into things too much. Yes he said he didn’t remember much, but A. you probably brought it up in the office and B. not that much happened.
You need to start making your own luck. You’ve been “hooking” up and letting guys get away with just blowing you off. It is time to say something, make a move and see what happens when you take control. Obviously doing things the other way around hasn’t been working out how you want it to.
At least if you pursue it you can be in control. Ask him to coffee or something light to pick up where your conversation left off. If he refutes, well there’s your answer, but then again this just might be the kick in the butt you both need to make something happen.
Sometimes you just have “what the ****!” and make your move. – Risky Business
swiped from dear abby, read her boring answer here.