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As I did in last week’s Dear Cougar, deconstructing advice from “experts” in the fashion editorial world seems to have become something akin to shooting the proverbial fish in a barrel. I was flipping through Esquire‘s October issue when I landed on a page of advice so absurd I snorted and gagged simultaneously.

The question: “Can you tell me your current thinking on wearing a pinkie ring?” – Care of some goof here in LA.

For Nick Sullivan, Esquire’s Fashion Director , this should have been an easy one word answer. No.

Instead..

“My current thinking, I think, is that I’m for it. I think that signet rings, for that’s what we’re speaking of here; the term pinkie ring makes my toes curl – have a seedy dash about them no matter whether you are to the manner born of, and they are favored by toffs and toughs alike. Either way, there is a whiff of the show-off about them. I would say that if you’re going to wear one, keep the rest of the regalia (on wrists and fingers) to an absolute minimum. And do not, under any circumstances, refer to it as a pinkie ring.”

Don’t get my wrong, mad love for Nick Sullivan. Generally Nick knows what is and what is not right in the world of men’s style. Nick, sorry dude, but this time you’re uncharacteristically just wrong.

My current thinking about pinkie rings is not that they make you look like some super fly 70′s pimp or a seedy intimidating gangster like John Gotti, but more like Keith David’s character Big Tim in Requiem for a Dream. This is the type of guy who wears a pinkie ring…

So, if you want to be that guy, by all means get your pinkie ring on.

Well, what do you know? Maid Marion. (Chuckles ) I’m little John.

Ugh, barrrrffff. Makes my skin crawl.

Nick, no. Don’t go around making little John’s out of us merry men.

- Coug